this next chapter: Moab

Im here. in moab utah. USA. i didnt think id still be here. but i am... and am trying to make the most of it. in the us that is. I floated here, moab, from a bit of west coast travel in an effort to try to understand my own country, and my participation with it. i realize i will always be an american. so i might as well, embrace what i can, and im pretty sure that i am actually doing it. i am living in moab in the red rock deserts of tranquility and brutality, sandwiched between the la sal mountains and the san rafael swell, we are in paradise. this really is paradise. the main problem now, is how to continue filmmaking, live a passionate life and experience a plethora of new things, gain new skills, and connect with new people. i think im doing ok so far. sadly no lovers, only moab. my dear. no concrete new skills... only my life which everyday feels like vacation. like mike said. every day feels like vacation.its so true. but im making money, friends, experiences.. i dont know what else to say... im possibly buying a truck on tuesday... so there is another real commitment. learning and being responsible for a car! a diesel... so i can turn it into a vegidiesel... and run on waste vegi oil... for free. big commitment... and then who knows i might get a dog. eeesh.. seriously who knows.. maybe i will know when the right step is supposed to happen. maybe it will no matter what. and im just along for the ride basically. that life is directing me and im along for the ride... it seems to be pulling me sometimes and sometimes to let me be... to relax and soak up life. so for now i am relaxing and soaking up life. a different life. mika is finally out in the desert. and i am not wasting any of my life. it is all precious. every day of it. the light is precious. i must keep some of that light with me.. in the future. i think i can probably capture that light into my celluloid. i seriously think i should stay here and film all winter. a new film. in black and white... plus x. the desert in the winter... it can have actors. i can film the land. my bolex works great, i have film .. there is no excuse now. i must. i must have a car to take me places to film. i think that is the next step. a little at time. what really makes me passionate about the desert. its ocean of time...its memories... that haunt the land. its sunsets and magical sunrises. the peace here. that the rest of the world may never know. the peace of the land. we are honed to respect and honor the land, and she provides quite fruitfully for us., we have the purest water at matrimony springs, the best produce, the best farmers. goat cheese. we are set. and if moab can prove to me that she loves me back... we then id say i have a girlfriend, and that im in love. are you that to me moab? just let me know. whisper to me how you feel about me. just a whisper.